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They are tearing down the abandoned Blockbuster Video in the Thriftway parking lot near my house finally. What are they replacing it with? A McDonald’s. The signs are already up, even though they haven’t even finished tearing down the Blockbuster yet.

Also, there is already a McDonald’s about ten minutes away, just as there is already a Walgreen’s across the street from that McDonald’s, but they still built a new one across from the Albertson’s right up the road. Apparently, the new corporate strategy is that if you have to drive ten more minutes to get to your local purveyor of mass-produced service/food, that is too fucking far to have to drive.

Tags: stupid
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My boss was feeling out of sorts this morning, and coined (I believe) the phrase “smartest banana in the hammock,” which should probably become a saying immediately.

GO, INTERNET!

Tags: silly work
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Thanks to a certain young lady and her awesome, hilarious, beautiful and erotic Snapchats, I may sleep well tonight.

Good night, all.

Tags: good night
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Whenever one of those “share an unpopular opinion” chains goes around Tumblr, it’s a no-fail recipe for losing a lot of respect for certain people.

Tags: yep tumblr
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If I don’t get my D&D on in the next week, I’m gonna be found wandering the streets, assaulting strangers with polyhedral dice, shouting, “Saving throw! Armor class! Critical hit!”

Tags: d&d
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I’ve been making an effort to respond to people’s interesting comments via fan mail lately rather than cluttering up my page with replies. Hopefully, over the next few days, you will see a cleaner feed from me as a result, and I will also have more interesting conversations with cool people.

This has been a “State of the Tumblr” address.

Tags: status tumblr
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In heterosexual relationships, when there are sexual no-no’s from one direction or the other, there is a massive inequity therein. For instance, if the woman is unwilling to do certain acts, it’s usually stuff like anal, or cum facials, or slapping, or gagging, porn star degradation that they’re not into, and that is totally acceptable and understandable (if, perhaps, disappointing).

When a guy doesn’t want to do something sexual with his wife, it almost always comes down to: he doesn’t want to lick pussy.

Do you see the problem? The man wants to stick his dick in every conceivable nook and cranny of his woman, and wants her to put her tongue on every conceivable inch of his body, but he’s not willing to lick her goddamn pussy? It’s “gross”, or it doesn’t “taste good”, or whatever.

Dudes: have a shower with your woman, wash her from head to toe, and when you get her in the bed, you’d better spread those thighs wide and settle in for a meal, motherfucker. Lick that shit until she is begging for your dick. Roll her over, part those ass cheeks, and tongue-spelunk in that butthole. This is your woman. This is your lover. She deserves nothing less than complete dedication to her pleasure. And your own, for that matter, because when a women cums in your mouth, you’re gonna feel like a superhero.

TRUTH.

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My mother’s watching Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America, and holy shit, it’s an all new experience when you can actually hear Gordon Ramsay cursing.

Tags: television
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madamewoolite replied to your post: Attn: Skypers Part Deux

If it helps, I don’t have skype.

That was probably a wise decision. I’m not really into it, and in fact I had all but abandoned it until artisticalyhaze mentioned that she was on it. I also have Kik, an email address and a telephone number, you know, for texting, all of which can be provided if the price is right.

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Attn: Skypers Part Deux

I am no longer signed onto Skype. Thanks for all the cool chatting is what I would say if anybody had actually chatted with me, but you are apparently all out with your beautiful friends having fun in the hottest clubs that have everything (lights, trance, psychos, an albino that looks like Susan Powter) and sadly have no use for a cool dude just LOOKING TO FUCKING CHAT ON HIS FUCKING SKYPE.

I’m going to lay face down on my mattress and sob dejectedly into my forearms now, thanks a lot.